JOKES IN MATHEMATICS

Sequence

Continue the sequence: z, o, t, … .

S o l u t i o n . As z = zero, o = one, t = two, the continued sequence is:

z, o, t, t, f, f, s, s, e, n, t, …

At the parents’ meeting

At the parents’ meeting a teacher of mathematics complains of his pupils to their parents:
- Your children are very dull. Today I explained them a new theorem. I explained once, they didn’t understand. I explained
once again, they didn’t understand. I explained the third time, I understood myself, but they still didn’t understand.

Proof

At a geometry lesson a teacher asks to draw an isosceles triangle. One of the pupils draws it. The teacher:
- Now prove that this triangle is really isosceles.
- Sir, I give you a word of a gentleman.

Daily time-table

One absent-minded professor composed a daily time-table and showed it to his assistant. The assistant looked it through and said:
- Very well, but your day consists of 25 hours.
- What a pity! Now I must wake up one hour earlier.

The shortest telegrams in a history

German mathematician Dirichlet was very taciturn. When his son was born, he sent to his father-in-law the following telegram: “2 +1 = 3”. Maybe it’s one of the shortest telegrams in the history. But the shortest telegram conversation ever was between Oscar Wilde and his publisher regarding his new book. O. Wilde wired the single character “?” and received from his publisher the reply: “!”.

New in chemistry

At a chemistry exam a professor asks a student:
- Tell me please, how to get sulphur.
The student answers:
- Let’s take hydrogen sulphide and warm it up. Hydrogen evaporates and sulphur remains.
- Very well. I put you an “excellent” and warm it up. A “good” and a “fair” evaporate and a “poor” remains.

Euclid’s wisdom

Euclid was asked:
- What do you want: two whole apples or four halves ?
- Four halves, of course.
- Why ? It’s the same, isn’t it ?
- No, it isn’t. Choosing two whole apples, I can not see if they are maggoty or aren’t.

Leibniz’s bust

Friends of Leibniz gave him as a present his bust, made by famous sculptor, on his birthday. Leibniz stared at the bust for a long time and then said:
- So, this is a face, which I shave every day.

Einstein and telephone

One woman asked Einstein to remember her telephone number: 361-343.
Einstein answered:
- It’s very easy. 19 squared and 7 cubed.

Einstein at school

A teacher of algebra said to Einstein’s father:
- I have never met a duller child.

An honest sergeant

A sergeant teaches young soldiers:
- Water boils at 90 degrees.
One of the soldiers retorts:
- I’m sorry, sir. But I know that water boils at 100 degrees.
- Okay, I’ll check, - the sergeant answered.
The next day the sergeant says:
- You were right. Water boils at 100 degrees, I mixed up with a right angle.

New method of fast calculus

Two Englishmen are going by train. A conversation isn’t getting on. The train passes a meadow, on which a herd of cows pastures. One of the passengers says:
- 1356.
The other man is surprised, but gives no answer. In some time the train passes another pasture. The first passenger says:
- 1693.
His neighbor brakes and asks:
- Sir, our train moves at speed 60 miles per hour. How can you count so quickly ?
- Oh, sir, it’s very simple! First I count a quantity of legs in a herd and then I divide this number by four.

Study and money

Father writes a letter to his son-student:
“Dear John!
I send you 50 dollars, as you asked. By the way remember please that the number 50 is written with one zero, but not with two.”