MATH JOKES

HOW TO PUT AN ELEPHANT INTO A REFRIGERATOR:

Analysis:

1) Differentiate it and put into the refrig.

Then integrate it in the refrig.

2) Redefine the measure on the referigerator (or the elephant).

3) Apply the Banach-Tarsky theorem.

Number theory:

1) First factorize, second multiply.

2) Use induction. You can always squeeze a bit more in.

Algebra:

1) Step 1. Show that the parts of it can be put into the refrig.

Step 2. Show that the refrig. is closed under the addition.

2) Take the appropriate universal refrigerator and get

a surjection from refrigerator to elephant.

Topology:

1) Have it swallow the refrig. and turn inside out.

2) Make a refrig. with the Klein bottle.

3) The elephant is homeomorphic to a smaller elephant.

4) The elephant is compact, so it can be put into a finite collection

of refrigerators. That's usually good enough.

5) The property of being inside the referigerator

is hereditary. So, take the elephant's mother,

cremate it, and show that the ashes fit inside the refrigerator.

6) For those who object to method 3 because it's cruel to animals.

Put the elephant's BABY in the refrigerator.

Algebraic topology:

Replace the interior of the refrigerator by its

universal cover, R^3.

Linear algebra:

1) Put just its basis and span it in the refrig.

2) Show that 1% of the elephant will fit inside the refrigerator.

By linearity, x% will fit for any x.

Affine geometry:

There is an affine transformation putting the

elephant into the refrigerator.

Set theory:

1) It's very easy!

refrigerator = { elephant } 2) The elephant and the interior of the

refrigerator both have cardinality c.

Geometry:

Declare the following:

Axiom 1. An elephant can be put into a refrigerator.

Complex analysis:

Put the refrig. at the origin

and the elephant outside the unit circle.

Then get the image under the inversion.

Numerical analysis:

1) Put just its trunk and refer the rest to the error term.

2) Work it out using the Pentium.

Statistics:

1) bright statistician.

Put its tail as a sample and say "Done."

2) dull statistician.

Repeat the experiment pushing the elephant to the refrig.

3) Our NEW study shows that you CAN'T put the elephant

in the refrigerator.

JESUS AND DISCIPLES:
Jesus and his disciples were walking around one day, when Jesus said, "The

Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9."  The disciples

looked very puzzled, and finally asked Peter, "What on earth does Jesus

mean - the Kingdom of Heaven is like 3x squared plus 8x minus 9?  Peter

said, "Don't worry.  It's just another one of his parabolas."
source: Special Category:   Afterlife

COW-CALCULUS

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Mathematical Cow

(developer of

cow-culus)